Angry Cuss
it's unusual enough to grab my attention and keep it. mommylap has been doing her best to counsel me through e-mail. during my last e-mail i think that i hit on something. i know why i'm angry.
the boy will not admit that he loves me. he can't. it all sounds like something out of a romance novel. however, the romance novel usually finds us with hero crumbling under a torrent of feelings he cannot hope to control. i know not to expect this from the boy.
i have a few options. i can take his actions as a show of his feelings for me. he bought me plane tickets to attend a funeral, didn't he? came and got me at the airport? gets good and concerned when i have the blues, right?
i could sit him down and tell him that i'm unhappy. that i need to know how he feels about me. tell him that his inability to show emotion is going to result in my leaving him.
i could leave him and hope that he comes to a conclusion on his own... just like in the romance novels he may run after me. he may grab my hands and have me look into his eyes.
then again, maybe the person who refuses to talk above love also refuses to be in love. that sounds like our man. wants this relationship to be fun and takes the time to tell me every so often.
so i'm angry because i'm sticking it out. i know that he won't be able to say what i want to hear, even if it keeps me by his side. it won't work and i just don't want to end it.
i'm mad at myself for sticking around. i'm mat at myself for waiting for things to fix themselves... it ain't gonna happen and i am mad that i know better.
so that's today then.
