My Bad?
i know that i'm not the only one who has a relative calling in drunk to christmas. i know that i'm not the only dealing with depression. i don't choose misery and i don't think that it chooses me.
it makes me wonder what this diary is really for sometimes. i started it to write about my depression. i've made some pretty bad decisions, sometimes by not making any decisions at all. i want to find out how things go to pieces and how i can avoid that in the future.
i'll admit that i'm a stat whore. i want people to read this. i just don't want to start worrying that i'm saying the wrong thing. i probably am saying, doing, thinking the wrong thing. i'm driving with a suspended license and updating my diary on the clock. i'm barely rational!
i just like the idea of throwing down thoughts and having them live somewhere. i like having references to time. i've been missing that. i look back and don't have time references for lots of things.
each day i get the chance to make more memories though. mommylap shared one with me last night.
i don't know what i'm doing. i just want to keep doing it...
proper.