Blech
I need to stop any connection with the Boy as well. That makes me sad because he calls all the shots and it's never ever ever gonna be anything but what he wants. What I want and what he wants don't fit in the same relationship and after all this I'm beginning to feel that he's kind of a dick.
I weigh more than I have ever weighed in my entire freaking life. I feel lousy but this has not led me to working out more frequently or to eating less or better foods. My clothes don't all fit and that's another first. I feel like a balloon. I know that I've gained weight before but I just feel like I must have a medical problem (besides the depression) to account for this dramatic weight gain.
Anyway, it's five or ten pounds and I notice it more than anyone but it's the difference between feeling like I deserve male attention and respect and just dealing with whoever comes along.
Crap. Anyway, I'm trying to talk myself into a night out with karaoke because I haven't done anything in a long time.
