Down With Love

"As for the boy, he needs to SHAPE UP or SHIP OUT. I mean for all that I read...your relationship never seems to go anywhere. Are you going to be like 50 one day and still being having this same back and forth with him? That would be my thought...I mean where is this going..? If he wants it to go nowhere...then he needs to go there."

okay, can i say that she's right and that i know it but i don't know what the hell to do about it? if i were reading someone else's diary i know that i would definitely tell the girl to give the guy a choice and then have him make it.

"so, you have two choices captain suck ass... 1) admit that you see me for the goddess i am and that you are barely worthy of being with or 2) get the hell away and get busy living your life of hungry-man-dinner-eating and holey-sock-wearing that you are so attached to. you know, the life you refer to as having freedom"

it's not that he doesn't want me around, kids. oh, no. he loves having me around he just likes keeping things "fun". i'd love to define "fun" for you but i'm not sure that i really can. i would give you the boy's definition but then i'd be in here every other hour re-writing it for him as he changes his mind. "fun" basically means that he would like to be with someone exclusively and not have it get any more serious than it has to.

so, if he isn't going to get serious my only recourse would be to get going and get gone. yup. why isn't that happening? 'cause i'm in love with the stupid putz. i'm also really tired about going on and on about how he won't commit. it annoys the piss out of me to be honest.

it's pretty much common knowledge that he will only get the swift kick of reality once i leave him. that's totally unfair because by then i will be sick of the bastard and i won't want him anymore. there's always the bait and switch - tell him i'm leaving and then wait for him to wake up but i don't play that game. besides, there's still the possibility of him realizing his mistake and being too damn passive agressive to do anything about it.

what a bunch of piss!!!

also, with all this pathetic mess i've gone and joined e-harmony.com. i'm thinking of even paying them money to help me find my soul mate. i really am. the thing is that i love being in a relationship. i work best in a couple. there's one major reason about this - i don't like playing musical beds. i want to have constant nookie and that's probably what got me into this pathetisad state.

now i'm just boring myself on top of everything else. seriously. yawn.