Mommylap's Guest Appearance

ladies and gentlemen i bring you a guest entry by none other than the infamous mommylap she has done a bang up job of explaining my situation and i just received an e-mail that said i can use her guestbook entry as a diary entry in itself... "Go ahead and put it in an entry- add it to your current entry if you want. I want you be able to refer people to it if you think it adequately conveys anything realistic on your behalf. I wrote it as if it were a guest entry. You have my complete permission to treat it as such."

"IF THERE'S ONE THING THIS GIRL IS NO FOOL ABOUT ...is that she is prone to good sex. It's never not happened for her. There's been good sex before now, there will be more after. The during part of her relationship with the boy that features the good sex is simply the status quo of her life's history. Part of the boy's dysfunctions that piss us all off when she vents about them are what make this relationship work better than her past ones in many ways. That isn't to forgive the dysfunctions, that isn't to say this is where she should stay because it's "better" but it's not to be overlooked in the long trek to the fully realized thisendup either. In all the time I've known this girl that I adore deeply, I have never seen her more functional. The impending decision about what she really needs will be a huge turning point in her life, and she's not just telling herself that she's happy- lots of her is about as happy as she is able to be. Nothing is simple. Just because she has plenty of potential gain from leaving, doesn't mean that she doesn't have plenty of potential gain from sticking with this too. The saddest thing is that the boy is committed to her and loves her- his actions do reflect that. The only thing he won't do is give those actions recognition."

you can put the above in italics and underline it. i believe in what she had to say. this wonderful woman is one of the few people who i believe in enough to receive a wake up call from. knowing that she doesn't think that i'm walking up the escalator the wrong way is a blessing. what it boils down to is that i can continue to challenge what i'm doing but that it isn't as clear cut as it may seem. there are choices to be made here and i have to decide which is the winner...

unfortunately that means a lot of whining in my diary about it along the way. sorry folks, that's what this here diary is for...

[notice that i left mommylap's entry in caps? for all of you who can't stand my lowercase style think of this as a REALLY early christmas presen.]