Won't You Please Not Be My Neighbor?
To think that my weekends may now include a couple hours of lawn work just doesn't sound fair. I'm sorry if you're a homeowner and want punks like me banished to a studio apartment. I really want that too and when I get my act together that's what's going to happen.
CRAP. Anyway, just read this letter that I just read... Then I'll probably have to do a real update because I just realized that I've found the guy I want to live with for the rest of my life and I'm scared shitless.
May 9th, 2004
Re: Rental Property / Lake Nokomis area
Dear Ms. Lauer:
As a landlord myself with many rental properties as my business, I feel justified in writing this letter as a spokesperson on behalf of our neighborhood.
We are not opposed to anyone having rental property as long as they share in the responsibility to maintain our neighborhood and property values.
Although you did some improvements to your property a few years ago, you have once again allowed it to be in disrepair and an eyesore in the neighborhood. The young couple to west of your property has been working diligently to improve their yard and property only to be adjacent to your yard that is full of weeds. This is their first home and they are very proud of it. It is disheartening to all of us to have guests come to ur homes with such a property as yours in our neighborhood. You went through the effort and expense to burn off the old grass and put in an entirely new yard 2 years ago only to have it full of weeds again, making our neighborhood look unkept and shabby.
Weeds grow in the flower boxes, along the foundation of the house and the driveway curbs all summer. A large tree grows out from the side of the garage area in the alley during the summer. Last summer another neighbor decided to cut id down. This year we will call the alley inspector if this happens. You need to do something about your lawn and keep it properly mowed and maintained during the summer months and the above mentioned weeds under control.
Additionally, the eves on your home are in need of repair and paint and have been for quite a few years. It took weeks to have the garage door repaired. If you are not interested in keeping up your rental property and your responsibility to the other homeowner's values in the neighborhood, we urge you to sell this property. Simply stated, we are only requesting that either accept your responsibility as a homeowner or sell the property. We do not feel that the above requests will be costly to you or are unreasonable.
Sincerely,
[Insert Name of Crap-Ass Neighbor]
