Steady She Goes
yesterday i held retraining for two of big d's team members. he referred to it as his damage control and managed to laugh at this title. as the session went on it became obvious that they knew what to do but were just having trouble doing it. today i'm supposed to meet with their manager to tell him how things went. he wants to roll this same training out to more team members next week. i want to roll under my desk.
i'm sure that there is a way of sharing this information that makes me look like the competent and intelligent professional i could be. the news is not what he'll want to hear but there is still a way to spin the information so that i look like the good guy... i don't think that i care.
when i went home for the funeral i realized that i could never, ever kill myself. i might not be much but my end would be too much for my parents. that leaves me with one less escape route and sometimes i look into the future and see years of uncertainty and failure ahead of me and i can't hold my head up.
that's today. possibly only moments away from an upswing where things look fine and hopeful again.
i hate being bleak or depressing. those emotions are about as original a concept as a reality tv show. i'm certain to pull my head up any moment.
