Worry Wart On Parade

i've got some generalized anxiety going today. it's swell. it's the feeling that something unwelcome is coming. i don't know when or even what. i don't know the direction it's coming from or it's severity. it might have already happened.

anyway, that's today. the boy asked me to have lunch with him today. he never does this when we are both working. obviously this means that he is going to dump me at a public restaurant. either that or he's going to tell me that after four years of saying he's going to move to chicago he's actually going to do it and then dump me. this is so clearly what is going to happen.

now that i have figured out the bad thing that i'm dreading today i can get on to worrying about something really important. there is a whole list of them on my desk. perhaps i should start by re-writing the list? i could add things that i have already done and mark them off. after accomplishing that i could also create each one as a task on my e-mail.

really, truly i want to do a great job. i just find that the harder i work at something the more trouble i get into. no one notices the large error that is inactivity.

in other news bub is in town. he's staying with the boy as he has done in the recent past. this won't affect me as much as last time because as mentioned above i won't be dating the boy anymore. it will make it harder for me to dramatically rush in to his apartment, pack all my things while tearfully noting every little thing that i have ever done for him and how wasted it is.

but i think i'll manage.