Deep End

i'm choking back tears. i truly hate admitting that. it puts me in to running for an after school special or a lifetime television for women movie.

there has been a lump in my throat since yesterday. is it possible that i have pms a whole week before my special time commences? i'm hoping that's what this is.

i was thinking about my hotel room. how i could put a 'do not disturb' sign on the door. i was thinking about buying up bottles of tylenol pm, aleve, nytol. i was thinking of closing shop.

there's packing to be done. there is a flight to catch tomorrow. there is a ticket from the toll booth in key biscayne to pay. there are dirty socks to pull out from under the bed. there is no time to sit about feeling sorry for myself.

please don't feel concerned. this is just another day in a whole series of days, weeks, months, years. it is only a deeper shade of gray that will wash out in the end. i just didn't feel like writing about anything else.

i'm in the deep end today. but i'm swimming.