some explaining to do

just got done with a lousy phone conversation. asked eli if he was planning on dating while i was gone. he said 'no' but he didn't like the idea of me asking every week. we went up the down staircase and told each other what we wanted. he wants his freedom and told me that he's scared because we have been with each other so long. i told him to grow up and get some balls. oh, wait. what i actually told him was that i would try but that it did make me worry and was essentially no fun. it isn't fun. i wonder about it too frequently and that's just not kosher to my line of thinking...

he said that he would try to be really sweet with me. this ought to be good. this 'sweetness' is supposed to help with idea that he's just waiting to jump ship. i don't know, i'm beginning to think that i should just shove him overboard and call it a day. how long can this really go on before i hit him over the head with a life preserver? i have some pride... DON'T I??

what of tonight? i'm going to more karaoke with michelle. i called randy late last night to hear his reason. he said that he was just done with work. i laid it on real thick. actually, i laid the booze on real thick. i was approximately as charming as a wombat. he may show, tonight i don't think that i will be watching the door quite as closely. after all, i'm still very twitterpated by the boy in MN.

boys. if you could possibly drop me a line and explain them, i would dig it. in the meantime, i'm going to try and get them to buy me some drinks. honestly. if i can't beat them then i'm going to mistreat them... or something along those lines.