Last Nerve At Work

i'm really on my game today.

if by 'on my game' i mean being cranky, unmotivated, hungry and having less than four hours of sleep... then i am definitely 'on my game'. i am in the zone.

usually i'm pretty damn cheerful. or at least i force myself to be. or i force myself to pretend cheer which still counts. today everyone is working my last nerve.

yes, they are throwing paperwork and voice mail at my last nerve. they are slapping down file folders and job requests on my last nerve's desk. they don't realize that they are messing with a ticking time bomb of fury, my friends.

a nice start to the day was being undervalued by one of my supervisors. grade a. top of the line, really. being talked down to kind of makes my ass twitch.

next, i'm told that having a bit more wine than my co-worker at a business dinner just ain't kosher. i'm not exaggerating. it was a matter of a glass or two more. what with my being a binge drinker and accustomed to boozin' a glass or two more than the normal drinker ain't saying much for my consumption.

this particular co-worker is actually in a leadership position that oversees one of my projects. she also oversees the throne as queen of all things anal.

oh, holy piss. i'm sure she considered it constructive criticism and i should just do my best to improve. oh, i'll improve alright.

next is the trainee who stays in the training room during lunch. i have to stay here because the miami people are supposed to be conferencing in to tell me all the wonderful details of my class on monday. {perhaps this is adding to my agitation. they say that they'll call me right back but i have had time to write this entire diary entry, twice [damn popups]}

perhaps i will be able to slap in a positive entry before i head off to memphis this evening. should have some good vibrations coming from an approaching departure from everything vile, right?

perhaps i could rally my spirit by convincing myself that there are other jobs out there that would be lucky to have me. that i needn't worry too much about doing the best i can or even just punching my time.

but i think that i'll just wait for the plane and starting drinking instead.