sleeping upright

So the Boy and I are technically back together. What does that mean, you ask? God, I'd be the last to know but I'll tell you what I think it means. We are once again bf/gf so that I will have him back in my life while I cope with what's happening with my mom and by extension my family.

He will help me through this time by being emotionally comforting and physically distracting. Someone to go for breakfast with on weekends and to shag with on weekdays... That's the idea.

The idea is sucking. I haven't heard a peep from him since I returned from my latest trip to Bismarck to see my mom. I got back Monday night and left a message with him yesterday... then emailed today...

This is really a great setup.

I overslept this morning and missed a meeting with my boss. Or more like I stayed out far too late and then text messaged the insane guy I was dating before the Boy and I decided on an arrangement. The guy is insane and so is the arrangement I've entered into.

Sometimes it can be natural to just want someone close. To want someone to hold you so that you don't split into bits and pieces. I have a feeling that this isn't going to work but I'm going to fight that gut instinct...

I'm going to focus on getting a kitten. Think of that -- unconditional love and distraction... Someone to watch horrible movies with me and allow me a chance to make kitten size hats and scarves to wear in the summer.

I'm asleep, aren't I?