Let Me Confuse Myself
last night the boy went to the rollins show with a lady friend. that in itself doesn't bother me but there are a few other things added on to the equation.
the lady friend in question is the one the boy went on a date with while i was on a business trip last august. i talked to him about her when i found out and he told me that she was too flighty to date but that doesn't really make it any easier to stomach. he didn't tell me that he was dating anyone until i asked and then let me think what i would. perhaps i wanted to believe that things were stable when they weren't?
also, the show was at 7 and he didn't trail in until after 1. that gave me plenty of time to just sit here and ponder everything.
why is it that every other entry is about the boy and he appears as good in one and shit in the next? i can't really decide if i'm being emotional or if i'm on to him and i don't want to see it that way.
no help in coming out and asking him either. if there is one person that i know that can put a smoke screen it's our friend the boy. i truly want to believe that he doesn't suck so it's a walk in the park for him to convince me that he's good to the last drop.
me: so did anything happen when you went out last night?
him: yes, but it didn't mean anything. i was thinking about you.
me: you were? what were you thinking?
him: i was just thinking what a dumb ass you are for staying with me. i was thinking how oblivious you are and how lucky that makes me.
me: you were really thinking about me? oh, sweetie. that's so nice!
so this is all probably exaggeration and a big old spoke in my menstrual cycle, kids. that doesn't make any less action-packed. i am trying to put things into perspective. i am also trying not to eat my weight in taco bell.
