Cosmo Says Your Fat? Well, I Am Not Down With That
first off let's deal with the nice one. i don't look too bad. in fact in most of them i would say that i did a decent job of smiling and that i look good. [end of obligatory back patting]
next is the bad emotion. i end up looking much heavier than i thought i did. i was pretty sure that i was no sex kitten but i actually look like someone injected me with whale blubber. and yes(!) i realize that i'm being over-critical and lame. i do. i get that and you would never have to go as far as to point it out to me.
i've spent the last few nights at my hotel room thinking that i need to lose weight. isn't this always the case when they send me on a business trip? i get in a class of toothpick mall rats and start feeling as if i wouldn't be able to wear heels for fear that they would be crushed beneath the weight...
realizing that you are the one creating the ill will doesn't seem to be enough to stop it. also, if i knew someone that was my build and she started running off at the mouth about being a bohemoth i would probably launch sharp things at her face... oh would i!
so why am i being a stink face? i'll tell you why. cause i can. worrying about things like this is better than actually doing anything about it. feeling horrible about this is far better than feeling horrible about, say, nuclear war. it also makes me feel like more of a woman to react hungrily to any articles about reduced cellulite.
cosmo doesn't pull in the big ones (i mean $$$ you dolts) for making us feel better about ourselves. no, indeed. this bit here is from their website, panderer of all things high-brow:
Great Sex Tip #2: Worship Yourself
"When I want to get turned on, I remind myself just how damn hot I am. I look in the mirror and give myself a bit of praise, whether it's 'These pants make me look smokin'' or 'My skin is totally glowing.' By the time my boyfriend shows up, I'm feeling like a complete sexpot!"
--Pam, 30
i am smiling now, but mainly because i might not have the hottest bod goin' (thanks for the lingo, cos!) but my brain isn't producing quotes that make me sound like a reject from the movie mask... no, it is sticking to nice normal thoughts like buying more black apparel and eating cheesecake with vigor.
