hellacious... in a bad way
am back in minneapolis. it's wonderful to be out of the lone star state, or at least the (not-so)fair city of beaumont.
however, my self-esteem has sunk to my feet or lower while i wasn't paying it any attention. have boy begging for cuddles, sex, attention... what is my response to this?
i want to sit in my room and cry
so, i'm thinking that i have simply adopted an evil troll to sit in my brain and yell unflattering things to me... that must be it. have wanted to be home for oh so long and now that i am, happy i am not.
yesterday, was prepared to sing the happy happy joy joy song in four part harmony. today, want to crawl under comforter (cat piss present or not) and boo hoo until such time as this passes.
and it will pass.
it better pass.
feeling fat, ugly, unloved, boring and lame is not good for the complexion. not to mention that it renders me unable to do many tasks, including getting out of bed... for any reason.
if you want to drop me a well-meaning note in my guestbook, well i would certainly appreciate it.
this is the third in a horrid series of three week long 'business' trips. would like to stick head in toilet now in hopes of catching something that would render me unable to go to the place that authorizes my paycheck.
oh, yes. 'nobody knows the trouble i've seen. nobody knows my sorrow...'
have to go and rub the boy's back and pray for peace on earth.
thank you for reading all of my entry. you are blessed with such good karma now, dang you.
