Relationships & Other Malarky

today i'm battling with myself again. the boy is going to be spending time with his ex this evening... that doesn't really even bother me so much. then it does. then i'm okay. then i wonder where the hell we stand. it's getting old.

i've worked so hard not to overreact to things. i know that there is a stereotype of women taking things to extremes. we're highly emotional and irrational and demanding. so i fight that stereotype. i fight it a bit too hard, to be honest. so i don't overreact but i barely react. then as time goes by i'm surrounded by a pile of emotions that i haven't responded to. i'm action-packed with issues.

so, i trust that he cares about me. i just get entirely too frustrated when i start to think about the two of us. he doesn't know what he wants. he doesn't even realize that he doesn't know what he wants.

i don't want marriage. he doesn't need to say he loves me. the two of us need to stop fighting stereotypes and rules so hard.

on the other hand i just need to hear him say that he cares. that it means something. that this is 'having fun' but it is also important to him. i've had this discussion with him before and he told me that i know all that already.

silly boys. don't they realize that we need to hear it? just knowing it is only half the battle.

oh, golly. i'll just be happy to have a day off in the front of the tv with my brain turned off. christmas is good for that.