Get Noticed
they were there one day in gym. i don't remember them coming in gradually. they must have grown quietly under my t-shirt while i was busy riding bike around a church parking lot. that day in gym i was wearing a tank top under a shirt, an unbuttoned shirt.
i had a friend back then in a similar situation. this friend had a mother who was very aware of 'the change'. took my friend out to dinner whenever a major moment occurred - say getting her period or shaving her armpits (i still don't understand celebrating that).
this friend was also quite loud. it was in this manner that she informed me that day in gym that my breasts were obviously making an appearance. they were noticeable. very much so.
i wasn't quite sure what to do but began with the old camouflage. concealed them first under a mickey mouse sweatshirt and then crossed my arms in front of them. perhaps some day i will even enlighten those who stop by with my first bra purchase (which is a horror in and of itself).
now i have breasts and i'm pretty damn happy about it. there was a time when they were awkward and obvious. they were part of me but they also felt terribly uncomfortable.
i bring this up now because i realize that i've fallen in love. it isn't something that has happened before... although i was certain that it had. other boys (girls even) walked into my life and made me start mentally planning first apartments and valentine's day events... this is a different animal entirely.
it's awkward and uncomfortable. i am worried that the wrong people will notice. i also worry that pretty much everyone already has and that i'm one of the last to wake up and smell this particular batch of coffee.
my hope is that these feelings i have right now will grow on me (pun be damned!) eventually i'll grow proud of them and feel comfortable if they are on display just a bit.
after all i got used to having my sweater puppets and i thought that i was going to start taping them down or similar.
