A Bit More Band
so, joe and i kissed. that mixed up my intoxicated brain good.
i ran home to my little apartment and had a phone conversation with hairy. he simply asked me if joe had apologized. i knew that hairy hoped that i would tell joe off and then it would be game over. i fervently wished that hairy would have explained a bit more why he wished that... i might have listened to him.
no dice. joe and i start dating. he hadn't had a girlfriend. he was 27. that made him one big walking neurosis. he's attractive enough but he never got close enough to anyone to let down his tough rocker image before. he let it all hang out with me.
he got jealous. he got romantic. i got attention. i got confused. i got a dear john e-mail at work. things had moved really rapidly and when i asked for clarification, joe shut down. i ran to his place to talk to him but it was too much drama for him. he had somewhere to be.
the situation was pretty pathetic. i wrote him a letter that i wanted him to read. i cared for him, didn't he see that? i knew that i was a handful but that was something to work on and it would be worth it, he'd see. but joe was already trying to ride his bike over to a friend's house.
as he rode away i got in my car to follow him. he made a point of tearing up my letter in full view. i saw red and pulled over to talk to him... well, that's my side of the story. his side has me deranged and trying to hit him with my car. i really don't care.
i dated him for a few months because that's what joe wanted. the boy stayed clear of me because that was what joe wanted.
he and i had made plans to go to madison before the breakup and we agreed that nothing would change. this was a band outing, we were still in a band. but it won't surprise you to know that the band ended.
it ended because i quit. i quit because 30 minutes before we were to leave for madison joe called and told me he wouldn't be giving me a ride.
and this sordid tale of childish pandering and stunted communication doesn't end. til this day i still run into joe. every time is different and i never know how he will treat me. he may try to get in my pants, he may ask about who i'm dating, he might sling a couple girls on his arm to show me how well he's doing. it keeps things exciting.
there's more but it all falls under the same heading i date schmucks for the wrong reasons. no sense in beating that dead horse, folks. but there is a moment every once in a while, when i see his face... i miss him. he wasn't a bad guy, he just didn't know shit about relationships. he also was addicted to dysfunction and when the supply got low he made his own.
he really needn't have bothered.
