Convince Yourself

for those of you who started scratching your heads when i submitted an entry about football, i have no good explanation... perhaps it is that my honey watches the stuff. i can't be sure. the realization that he actually watched football and would make a concerted effort to make it home to watch the game is a realization that came on sunday.

that's nine months of dating the same guy only to find out that he is a pigskin-watching cad. he openly loves the packers. (well, somewhat openly. if he was a raving fan i'm sure that he would have mentioned it previously or i would have found a styrofoam cheesehead next to his bettie page poster)

it's a shock. i'm rearranging my scenario for a dream guy to include a fervent adoration for the packers. as you can see by my cheesehead entry that i'm trying to incorporate this into something more palatable. i'm actually warming to the idea in a serious way.
warning: crappy pap analyzing dead-end relationship
i would actually like to be able to stop the escalation of one-sided affection that seems to be my relationship with said boy. i find way too many things endearing. for example, when i picked him up at the airport in houston he mentioned that he was going to "snuggle the hell" out of me.

just wish that my heart didn't turn to easy cheez every single time he said one sweet thing. i hate to think that i'm running, not walking, into a giant brick wall.

if anyone spots any lame, subservient shit appearing in my diary let me know... oh, besides the constant obsessing. i think that i'm doing pretty good about hiding my feelings when he is around. this is probably not true. oh, wait. i already dissected this thought before
blabbing comes to and end soon
i continue to worry because he continue to mention his wish for this to 'just be fun, why does it have to mean anything'. but then it's always possible that he's trying to talk himself out of a certain frame of mind... just like me.
long boring tirade comes to a close