Letter to Eddie

eddie, i realize that you like to panic. i embrace your need to panic.

eddie:

a person who enjoys a sudden, overpowering fright; esp., a sudden and groundless fright; terror inspired by a trifling cause or a misapprehension of danger; as, the troops were seized with a panic; they fled in a panic.

i want to display a very strong sense of support for who you are what it is that you love. especially since i just saw you standing all tall, white and exposed in a towel as you dashed into the bathroom.

after showing what i feel is a generous amount of support for your panic lusting, i must beg you to chill the hell out!

chaplin, my beloved cat, has deposited a urine sample on your kit bag. you don't have to describe the stages of disbelief, anger, denial and finally acceptance. these stages and their accompanying feelings of disgust and depression are my close companions. the chap first selected me in his 'sampling' and continues to do this at inopportune moments. {though i ask you, when is it 'opportune' to find cat piss on your bed, sweater, coat, reason for living, etc???}

cat piss sucks. i will do my best to rectify the situation and am currently reading all cat behaviorist literature available to me. in the meantime please do not:

1. rant
2. malinger
3. scowl
4. roll eyes back into head

i know that i deserve to see/hear the physical evidence of your discomfort. i do. however, you can't make me feel any worse. your continued attempt to do so only renders me quite through with you.

k.