follow up or the like

so the boy has called and he was not:

1. smiling

well at least he was not smiling sadistically because i worry all the time
2. lying in a bloody puddle
3. in a coma

self-evident by the fact that he used phone
4. interested in my visiting

at least he made no reference to it...

now that i wrote that last point there i'm remembering a time when he had wanted me to visit but had wanted me to broach the subject myself. oh, boy. so could have done that and showed only the slightest amount of need and had nice cuddly boy to lie next to.

now will have to go back to old yucky house where all the lights will be off, there will be no food and due to recent 'pee patrols' the chap won't even be sleeping with me.

how i do wish that i could get around my head around this independent-but-not-independent thing...

and what's the deal with me staying at work all hours so that i can read up on my diaryland pals. for shame.