emotional hiccup

...but I can't help it. I'm feeling depressed at the moment. Maybe it's the fact that I have made three round trips from work to 20 minutes south of work to help out r. My little beater has no air-conditioning (lest we count having the windows rolled down). Maybe that's it. Or maybe I'm just tired...

On the third trip back this way I started thinking about the damn pictures the lad has just hanging around his apartment. Him and his ex happily staring into the camera. A small booklet with pictures of her lips poised for a kiss. Something to remember her by. I know that they were a long time ago, but all of this is starting to really run me down.

I know that it's asking a bit much to have a functional relationship. Or even an only slightly disfunctional one. But logic be damned! This is beginning to be a bit much for this dizzy chick.

No matter how times I say that I want out and desire to find something that doesn't...um...suck, I'm still his little beckon call girl. That leaves an aftertaste akin to chugging Robitussin.

Writing about all of this is fine and dandy but what I really need is someone to hold my hand while I drop kick the bugger to the curb. That's what I really should be doing. Because under the pretense of caring about me, he is still pushing a bit too hard to keep me away. Too much indifference and drama for this basketcase.

I'll change my mind tomorrow. That's how it goes. This is more than likely an emotional hiccup. So in response I'm going to go and get lovely and jump in my car - AGAIN - and head on over to the pub. Worried that my friends might not be there tonight, but then I worry about everything. lap will be at karaoke and I have that to look forward to.

Here's to good friends getting together and listening to each other over beer. Hurrah!